Since deciding to publish consistently, I’ve been drawing a blank. Normally, I have lots of ideas. My Evernote is filled with post idea after post idea. Yet, when I scrolled through them, nothing held enough energy to start, let alone finish.
I even have full posts written out and ready to go, but for whatever reason, those didn’t feel right to put up either.
It wasn’t until in my car, coming up on my personal deadline and setting the intention: “by the time you arrive, you’ll settle on what to publish,” I realized all my ambivalence was a form of resistance. It was a way to protect myself from the vulnerability of putting my work out there on a regular basis.
It felt safer to post something and hide. Or to not post anything at all. It was safer to draw a blank.
In the moment, my work was to name this resistance for myself. To know my defensive patterns and how they can show up.
Resistance can show up in different ways for different people. It can present as ambivalence or distraction, fatigue, judgment, or just not wanting to do the work.
Luckily, when we bring awareness to what was happening, we can hold it and look at it–rather than being stuck in it.
When we are working towards something, it’s fun and exciting to set goals for ourselves. We can come to life with the potential and hope of it all. This is important — it creates momentum and the internal fire to just start. However, at the end of the day, the real work is in the follow-through.
Follow-through triggers our defenses, which ask us to stay safe and comfortable. This can be a natural survival response, but it can get in the way when trying to stretch or do something different and meaningful for ourselves.
Our job is to see what’s happening for what it is. It’s to meet ourselves with honesty and gentleness, exactly where we are at.When we are creating, building a business, working towards a new future, we will be met with our own need for healing, growth, and self-love.Click To Tweet
As we move through these places in ourselves, we peel back the layers and become stronger and more aligned. This is always a process that asks us to trust:
- To trust the path that’s always under our feet.
- To trust our own process.
- To trust that with each breath we are deeply rooting, as well as stepping into new terrain.
- For me, the quickest way to move out of stuck places is to write about it.
This article is an exercise in just that.
I can see now that my resistance was triggered from a place of vulnerability and from fear of being seen. There’s an opportunity for healing here.
Writing this, I’m reminded of me of Einstein’s wise words:
“The most important question a person can ask is, ‘Is the Universe a friendly place?'”
For me, seeing the Universe as loving is central to my worldview but I’m continuously learning to trust this deep in my bones.
Pushing through my resistance was an opportunity to trust this more and more.
I invite you, the next time you’re feeling stuck, slow down and ask yourself the simple question: “is this resistance?”
Engage with what comes up, trust when you are drawing a blank it’s because there’s an opportunity for growth coming forward. Meet yourself where you’re at with gentleness and curiosity.
It’s often the act of giving space to explore where you’re at, in that exact moment of time, that gets things moving in surprising and meaningful ways.